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9 Types of Unique Runners

Which type best represents you?


1. The Technology Junkie

This extreme tech-savvy athlete always has the latest gadgets or apparels. The Technology Junkie may be a male or a female, and they are characterised by the appearance of revolutionary sportswear and the attention to digital devices. Some of these devices may actually be related to running: a heart rate monitor, a slick pace-setting GPS watch, or an extra digital chip in their shoe on race day to make sure the most accurate time is recorded. Other gadgets or apparels are purely for entertainment and performance enhancement purposes, like the latest iPod, easily accessible for uploading any running sights to Instagram, or a full compression suit. After run rituals include logging their run on Facebook, Twitter, and the dozen other social media sites they belong to so their friends can see their achievements. Their personal motto is "Always online, running in pace with technology."

Trademark items: iPod, smartphone with tons of running apps, heart rate monitor GPS watch, back-up battery pack, electronic chip, energy bracelet or wristband, full compression suit, barefoot running shoes, google glasses.

Tagline description: Always plugged in and connected.

Killer feature: Lightning Bolt Fingers – These allow him to text in running updates every second and update his run on his GPS tracker and social media.


2. The Primped and Pampered

This stylish diva/divo, more often female than male, looks like they ran straight from the beauty salon. Nails done? Check. Hair styled? Check. Make up done? Check. Fashionable running clothes? Check. The Primped and Pampered run to be seen so they to tend to be found in busy parks or popular marathons. This runner goes by the motto: "It's not how good you run but how good you look when you're running." After run rituals include a trip to the spa to get a pedicure for those poor tired toes.

Trademark items: Extra hair tie, headband, layered tops, compact makeup kit with mirror, charismatic smile and pose.

Tagline description: Never caught dead running behind on the latest fashions.

Killer feature: : Sweat-repelling Skin – This is always bronzed, always mosturised, and looks flawless no matter the conditions before or after any run.


3. The Cryptic Cyborg

This steady, dependable runner a.k.a the lung-less tends to be a male, usually in his late twenties or early thirties. He is focused, driven and never misses a run. He never stops at water stations because he is equipped with his trusty water backpack. He doesn't acknowledge other runners as he passes them because that would be a waste of breath. His marathon miles are all at exactly the same pace and he never varies from his pre-race routines, even if it means skipping a wedding or birthday party. Turning up his tempo is just like the switch of a button. He wears the same running attire for every race and doesn't indulge in any pre-race chatter. The cyborg doesn't have time to think about personal mantras. He just runs no matter rain or shine, any day and anytime. Pain is his best friend and he adores it every single step.

Trademark items: Water backpack, sport beans or gel packs, digital watch, shades, extra leg weights.

Tagline description: Focused, steady and equipped with an unbendable iron will.

Killer feature: Unwavering Heart Rate and Ultra Lung Capacity – It wouldn't even spike if a bear appeared on the racecourse.


4. The Darling Duo

The Darling Duo is made up of a male and a female, usually dating, sometimes engaged or married. They only run together and wear colour coordinated outfits. They are usually in their early to mid-twenties and attractive and fit. They talk exclusively to each other. Sometimes they even run hand in hand. They get engaged at the end of a race and jump into each other's sweaty arms, high on the endorphins they just got from the race. These two are cute, loyal, and a bit obsessed. Their shared personal motto is "Running is always better together." The Darling Duo may tend to make fellow runners feel a bit nauseated when they run past.

Trademark items: Mobile phones to reach each other if somehow separated, shirts with their names in a heart, tattoos or stickers with special meaning for each of them.

Tagline description: Till Death Do Us Run.

Killer feature: Side-by-side Flexible Squeezes – These help them fit through the narrowest sidewalk or trail while remaining together.


5. The Faithful Geezer

The Faithful Geezer is usually male and is a minimum of sixty-five years old but is usually pushing eighty. The Faithful Geezer usually has a haggard appearance and looks like he would be unable to run 1.6km. He will then run 42km and manage to pass you during the run. In the gym, the Geezer is the first one there and the last to leave. His personal motto is "Slow and steady wins the race." He laughs at the young, reckless runners who don't pass themselves. He runs slightly hunched over and likes to yell out encouraging comments to the youngsters running near him. These can only occasionally be made out because of his raspy voice. Although he is advanced in years, this runner is young in spirit and what he lacks in quickness he makes up with steadfastness.

Trademark items: Lucky running charm, denture, water belt, knee and elbow padding, spectacles.

Tagline description: Never Say Old.

Killer feature: Bionic X-ray Vision – This comes through his bifocals and allows him to spot the next rest station at least 1km away.


6. The Pained Pouter

The Pained Pouter is most likely to be a male. They are recognisable by their expression while running, which looks like they are dying. Though he looks like he's about to keel over he can go for miles. When spectators see the Pained Pouter while running, they may yell out things intended to be encouraging but are often lies such as, "Looking strong" or "Almost there". The Pained Pouter does not acknowledge spectators. At water stations, they grab several cups without a nod or word of thanks. They are always dripping with sweat, even if the race has just begun. They shove themselves to the front of the starting line and always filled with a competitive agenda. They have high thresholds for pain and are unstoppable, often labelled as the Hyperadrenal.

After the race, they indulge in any emergency care offered and have an ice pack taped to each knee, their forehead and their rear.

Trademark items: Painkillers, braces and support, ice packs, muscle rub, spray or cream, running parachute.

Tagline description: Pain is temporary, pride is forever.

Killer feature: Strike-down Scowl – This intimidates other runners and can be held for an impressive number of miles.


7. The Part-Time Runner Full-Time Party Animal

The Part-Time Runner Full-Time Party Animal (PTRFTP) can be male or female of any age. The PTRFTP was most likely in a fraternity in life and he sees no reason to abandon pleasure for training. In fact, if depending on the priorities of his social calendar, the PTRFTP sees no reason to train at all. Sometimes the PTRFTP will wear shirts during races with phrases like, "26 miles and no training," or "I’m only doing this so I can post a picture on Facebook."

The PTRFTP relies on his natural ability and funniness to carry him through. He is easily distracted, especially by other runners. This chill, funny and entertaining runner won't quit before the after party, though he may stop for some casual flirting along the way or engage most of the time taking pictures with others.

You will spot him dressed up as superheroes and is a master of cosplay. He runs through every sprinkler, trying his best to entertain everyone with dozens of tricks up his sleeves.

Trademark items: Wacky costume, neon sunglasses, muscle shirt, running jersey with funny slogan, photogenic grin, LED flashlights.

Tagline description: Run hard, Party harder.

Killer feature: Enduring Adrenaline Rush – This allows him to be excited at any moment of the race, pre till post-race, stirring up entertaining atmosphere and motivating everyone.


8. The Paternal Bonder

This runner could be a mother or father taking part in a race with his/her child. The child is usually too young to complete the race on his or her own but that doesn’t prevent the bonding session with his parent. The Parental Bondertakes the opportunity of a race as a father/mother-and-son/daughter-bonding tripand teaches thema life lesson or two. The child could be piggybacked or sitting on his father’s shoulder or even as young as needing to be pushed in a baby stroller. No matter what method of transport the kid chooses, both of them are definitely going to finish the race together. He believes that a simple step forward together now will surely pave towards a solid kinship.

Trademark items: Steady balancing pace, firm solid shoulders, baby pram, water bottle, cool cleaning towel, endless motivating stories to engage the child.

Tagline description: He ain’t heavy, He’s my son!

Killer feature: Parental Love Aura – Nothing is going to stop his child from completing the race. The fatherly or motherly aura is constantly rejuvenating the child with hope, confidence and fun.


9. The Multimedia Aficionado

This snapping enthusiast can be of both gender and is most probably from a younger age group. She is usually armed with more than one device or gadget with photographing or filming capabilities. Along the track, you will see this runner appearing at every inch along the race snapping away self-portrait of themselves or with friends. She has her way of sneaking the equipment into the race and often is irked by other runners for her sudden brake and impromptu behaviour or inconsiderate action.

Her signature move is posing different photogenic postures in a sequence of numerous shots anywhere anytime. From the peace sign to thumbs up in the air, all these poses come naturally, added with the ability to capture scenic backdrop to complement their photos.

Trademark items: Light and compact DSLR camera, camera bag filled with different lens, selfie stick, head cam, picturesque facial and body expression.

Tagline description: On Your Mark, Ready Say Cheese!

Killer feature: Super Steady Poise – Whether it’s for posing or holding a camera in a crowded and motion situation, for self-photographing, she always make the picture looks great and composed.